i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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