may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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