UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
