Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My ass is underappreciated
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
