He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
