everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
