Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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