it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
