Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
