at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
