ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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