Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just want to make out with him forever
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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