Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am engaged

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  To a real live girl that has met me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I am engaged (262): To a real live girl that has met me http://tfl.nu/4ln0
  Replies (7) Good night (1517) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine. http://tfl.nu/uiwl
  Replies (27) Good night (2990) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0
  Replies (22) Good night (4523) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6355) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv
  Replies (25) Good night (3850) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill. http://tfl.nu/ungu
  Replies (10) Good night (4474) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day http://tfl.nu/82u7
  Replies (10) Good night (5252) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!" http://tfl.nu/sk68
  Replies (10) Good night (4719) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/k960
  Replies (23) Good night (1563) Bad night (2200)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good. http://tfl.nu/yaqd
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1462) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (2) Good night (1351) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! http://tfl.nu/x69b
  Replies (9) Good night (1555) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ulnv
  Replies (0) Good night (107) Bad night (49)

Randomize