This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
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I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
this hospital has no fireball
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.