So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
