Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations

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(925): View more from California

He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."

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(469): View more from Texas

Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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(816): View more from Missouri

I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

(908): View more from New Jersey

It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

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(905): View more from Ontario

No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.

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(256): View more from Alabama

this hospital has no fireball

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.

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