Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo

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  (413): i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo http://tfl.nu/a19q
  Replies (40) Good night (1028) Bad night (4051)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

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  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4164) Bad night (730)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

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  (703): okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar. (1-703): I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up? http://tfl.nu/a4zj
  Replies (55) Good night (12086) Bad night (1163)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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  (301): the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner. http://tfl.nu/49va
  Replies (19) Good night (5449) Bad night (2286)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

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  (778): i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate. http://tfl.nu/ob4u
  Replies (5) Good night (1202) Bad night (3697)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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  (501): Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check. http://tfl.nu/gtpb
  Replies (12) Good night (1009) Bad night (5290)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?

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  (248): guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop? http://tfl.nu/8g34
  Replies (22) Good night (6289) Bad night (1106)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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  (414): could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor? http://tfl.nu/bpu5
  Replies (9) Good night (1501) Bad night (957)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"

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  (773): We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below (773): When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!" http://tfl.nu/bs1p
  Replies (4) Good night (1886) Bad night (620)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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  (319): Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world? http://tfl.nu/2f1z
  Replies (7) Good night (2141) Bad night (551)
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1119) Bad night (484)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  (254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex
  Replies (11) Good night (1169) Bad night (439)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (486)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.

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  (815): I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it. http://tfl.nu/z6ex
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (217)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it

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  (321): He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it http://tfl.nu/2lkm
  Replies (0) Good night (173) Bad night (448)

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