corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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