you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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