i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
