So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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