You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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