those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
