So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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