this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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