you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
