I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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