I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You can't motorboat a personality
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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