question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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