i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
