So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
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...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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