I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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