i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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