We're like a lot better than the average bears
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
