my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
