11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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