Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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