tell your sister to shave her snatch
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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