So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
