is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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