today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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