...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
