i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
