I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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