Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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