I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
