Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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