Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
