you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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