I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need moral support for this bender
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
