He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
