I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
