The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
why do cheetos always look like penises
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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