plz talk dirty to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
