So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
