We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
