In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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