maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
