All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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