So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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