My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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