I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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