I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize