So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
