we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We had sex on a dog bed..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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