"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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