I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
