I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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