I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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