Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
