Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
